Lost…Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

Do you remember the whole quarantine thing? I don’t think anyone will ever forget that chaotic time. It was during that first year that I became deeply reflective about the course of my life and the purpose of motherhood. I realized I was not living for me, but for them. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood is crucial for you to thrive as a mom.

Analyzing who we are and accepting the season we are in, shouldn’t happen just at chaotic times. That’s why in this post, we’ll dive into what motherhood identity crisis is and how to find yourself again.

Why Do Moms Lose Their Identity?

Having an identity crisis can come so quickly and seamlessly, but it can also slowly creep in over time. 

As you transform from just you, to you and those depending on you, life can become an overwhelming ride of guilt, pressure and stress to perform as mom. 

All the while, you secretly ask yourself, who am I besides a mother?  

Children have so many demands and honestly, most moms are doing it alone more than half of the day. Your time gets filled up with the needs of your child, your family, and you are forced to put yourself to the side. 

I mean, if you are a good mom.

What Being a Mom Means to Me?

Motherhood certainly has a grand purpose. I talk about this topic a lot on my blog because I didn’t have someone to lay the foundation of why I should continue doing this work, day in and day out, without recognition or a paycheck. But now, being a mom of older kids, I can say that being a mom means a lot more than blood, sweat and tears. 

Being a mom is caring for those tender littles that can only survive by your loving hands. It means breaking through our impatience and self-centered thinking. Motherhood does mean sacrifice but in a good way. This is the type of sacrifice that will carry on when the world is falling apart. The type of sacrifice that strengthens those around you when they don’t know who else to go to.

But let’s stop for a moment, because you may be feeling like this job has shoes bigger than you can even fill. I felt like that for a long time too, but I want to say that being a mom doesn’t mean you have to be or do something you can’t. 

You won’t do this thing perfectly, and neither should anyone (including you) expect that to be the result.

No.

I struggle a lot with who I am too. Although I’m writing this article for you, I am also writing it for me. God didn’t make us to be perfect, He made us to be loving, caring servants that are ever-growing to be like Him and that is all you have to be.

Who Am I Besides a Mother?

Even once you feel settled on who are you as a mom, you still have more to discover. Yes, you are someone besides “mom”. 

I have been exploring lately who I am again. I think I’ll go through this throughout the rest of my life because I just get so caught up in serving others that I forget myself… until it’s too late. I want to help, serve and go. I go with my blog, I go with my kids, I go with how to improve myself.

But with all of that going, I need some stopping. I need to stop and think, why am I doing all of this go, go, go? 

I have to think even deeper. Because y’know, I’m a thinker. It has to make sense to me on the inside, otherwise, the outside means less and less and I will fall apart. 

So let’s contemplate together on that deeper level, who are you besides a mother? Who are you besides a woman on a mission to help my family?

Like the side story in a series, let your side story be to discover who you are, besides a mom. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood can look like a lot of things. I like to join groups so I can feel that sense of community and belonging. But you may want to rediscover yourself by going through old journals or photos.

How Do I Find Myself Again after Motherhood?

One of the best ways to redefine yourself after motherhood is to journal. Journaling is a natural self-discovery activity because it forces you to consider what’s going on in your own heart. Journaling has been one of the things that have allowed me peace with myself and my decisions, but also to see things in my own life that I don’t see when I don’t write things down.

If you are new to journaling I created this journaling prompt graphic that you can use to start things off.

The second thing that you need in order to find yourself after motherhood is time. That may be obvious but it takes consideration to act on it. When you will go through old photos, journal, join groups or watch youtube videos on any hobby or ideas when you are always full of mom tasks?

You need to block out time during the day, evening, weekend, or at least once a month for finding yourself again. Motherhood identity crisis is not avoidable, but we can definitely minimize it if we all work together as moms (and dads) to give each other time.

Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

If you are really struggling as a mom, you aren’t alone. Having a mom identity crisis is what many moms go through but for a variety of reasons. Just know that you aren’t alone and that it is not set in stone. You can have a piece of you and have peace for you during your motherhood journey.