Should I be a Stay at Home Mom?
When you first hear the news that you are going to be a mom many thoughts go through your head, including should I be a stay at home mom? Maybe you’ve always wanted to due to the benefits but now you must figure out:
- Can you afford to be a SAHM?
- Would you find life satisfaction in being at home?
- What about the career you spent years preparing for?
Career vs. Motherhood – Which one is best?
The pendulum on being a stay at home mom swings both ways. Answering if you should be a stay at home mom is a very personal choice.
There are articles like this one, in which a woman pours out her heart, looking at an empty nest and wondering what she did with her life. She states:
I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn’t feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time.
We all feel woeful for her, as she wonders about her current financial position. However, that is just one story.
In another article from Time.com in which the author lays out her hectic and stressful sahm day. There are successes and joys, also frustrations and needs for sleep. But she details how she used to pour so much into the children she served in her workplace and how ridiculous it would be to go out of her way for everyone else’s child but not her own. She says
there will be a moment that will lift the shame that others have placed on us [stay at home moms]. That’s the moment you’ll realize that all of the hard work will be more than worth it, and you’ll be proud to call yourself a stay-at-home mom, changing the small corner of your world.
Asking should I be a sahm can be answered by looking at if you are prepared to be a stay at home mom? Just like any other career (and it is a career, just without monetary reimbursement) you should investigate it, looking at the pros and cons, requirements and your willingness to invest time and effort into preparing for it.
One great way to prepare is by learning from one first hand. I created a guide that will allow you to gain insider information about being a mom at home.
Purchase So You Wanna Be a SAHM?, only $5.99
I realize that young moms and moms at home don’t have any direction or map for this SAHM life, so I created one. After being a SAHM now for over 10 years, I wanted new moms to know what to expect and how to create a fulfilling life at home if that was their choice. It’s not everyone’s perfect path. So let’s see what works for you.
The Quiz
There are more mothers staying home today than in 1999, however, should you be a mom at home? You’ll find this quiz a great start. Keep track of your answers on paper so you can get your score at the end.
- Have you prayed about this decision yet?
A. No B. Yes C. A little bit
- If you have prayed which direction do you feel driven to
A. To continue working B. Stay home for sure C. Stay home but I’m still unsure
- How much money do you have saved in order to stay home?
A. 1k or less B. Nothing, my husband makes plenty to support our family C. 1k-5k
- Is your husband on board with you being a sahm?
A. No B. Yes C. He’s undecided/okay either way
- Which is harder:
A. Leaving projects or people in the workplace B. someone else caring for your baby every day C. affording daycare
- When your baby cries your first reaction is to:
A. Call for help B. Comfort your baby by feeding, rocking, changing, etc. C. Wait to see if he’ll stop on his own
- How would you handle your days at home
A. Deal with things as they happen B. Create a schedule but know every day will be different C. Create a schedule and stick to it
- Do you have a support group of moms
A. No, I have no idea where to find one B. Yes! C. No, but I’m looking into that
- Do you know of any other sahms
A. No B. Yes C. Yes but I’m not good at making friends
- Are you good at budgeting and money management?
A. No, and I have trouble with debt B. Yes and I love doing it C. I’m okay at it
11. Speaking of debt, are you in debt?
A. Yes B. No C. Not terribly, working my way out
- Do you need time to yourself
A. Yes and lots of it B. Not really and I know that kids are with sahms 24/7 C. Sometimes just like everyone does
Results
Now, look at your answers. Did you get more As, Bs or Cs? Click the appropriate link.
Maybe Reconsider
It is a hard transition to being at home, without the regular acknowledgment of your accomplishments and completion of tasks. There isn’t that built-in group of like-minded individuals, and there aren’t those moments of sneaking in comments about the day’s events.
You may want to take a bit of concentrated time to pray and analyze if this is right for you. Some moms are more than happy to continue their work-life and that’s certainly fine. Don’t disperse!
If you still believe this path is for you, and your husband is on board, work with him to map out a savings plan for a financial cushion. You may have to work for a little while until you are debt-free or have that cushion, even if that means working while having a newborn.
This might be a sad prospect to you but don’t let it get you down. God knows where you are at and He will help you get through. Look ahead and see the years of benefit you’ll receive by continuing on. You may only need to work part-time to accomplish this but either way, create a plan.
—IF— you are already at home and are starting to wonder if you made the right decision because of financial trouble, or bad feelings between you and hubby – stop. Have that discussion of how you can get back to work, (even part-time or from home) to mend things. Better now than years of struggling and strife.
If you’d like some encouragement for your journey please don’t hesitate to sign up for my Hope for Mom Challenge. This is a free email course to help you refocus on God’s purpose for you in this season of life, walking you through scriptures to battle depression, chaos, overwhelm and just plain confusion of who you are and what you are supposed to be doing at this stage of life.
Hope for Mom Ecourse Challenge
You have Mom-style
Everything is looking likely that you will not only enjoy being a mom at home but that you will be successful at it. You will love being around your kids all day, have a plan in place to keep everyone occupied and still have some balanced me-time by yourself or with friends. You may still be feeling like something is missing or unsure, but don’t be. We all have hesitations and doubts, and, no one is perfect. If you feel this is God’s direction for you, just prepare yourself.
A great way to do that is by doing my FREE Ecourse Roadmap for Moms. This is a 7-day email course where you and I can work together to get you knowledgeable about the everyday tasks that moms carry the responsibility for.
This email course will allow you to plan ahead and map out a bit better what will happen as mom. If you are already mom, it’ll give you key tips and printables to make your days go smoother.
Click for your Free Roadmap for Moms course
Review ALL options
If you got mostly Cs then you might want to consider all of the options for being a mom at home.
See, we tend to think the lines are black and white, either you are working a full-time job or you are home full-time. Actually, there are lots of options.
If you are considering being at home full-time it would be most beneficial to be debt-free, be frugal-minded in your spending (or at least willing to learn to be) and have a financial cushion in the bank.
Could you make it without all of that? Of course! However, it would be a struggle, so let’s make a good start.
If you aren’t 100% sure you’d like to make this big jump or your husband isn’t completely on-board, you can consider a few options.
You could work part-time or evenings when your husband can watch the baby. You may be able to continue your current job and work from home some or all of the time. (You never know until you ask.) You could start your own business, but be aware of the time investment with this option.
I detail these and other options in my book, “So You Wanna Be a Stay at Home Mom?” In this guide, there is a whole chapter devoted to how to afford being at home, as well as a day in the life overview of what it really looks and feels like to be a mom at home, the challenges, benefits and more.
As a stay at home mom myself, I love this so much! Thanks for sharing your heart!
I love that the first thing on the list is prayer. So very important when making this decision.