If I hear one more person say, this too shall pass, I’m gonna pass out! If you are a struggling mom, you are right there with me.
What to do for a struggling mom?
There’s nothing like a blanket statement or trite sentiment to put you over the edge when you are doing everything you can to keep it all together.
The laundry, litter, and legos stabbing you in the toe every night are enough to make anyone scream. But then here comes people, memes, and blog posts telling you to buck up because “this too shall pass”. I mean are they trying to encourage us or scrap the last piece of sanity from our brains?
The best thing to do for a struggling mom is not to come up with a quick-fix statement to make yourself feel better and hope it helps her too. No, the best thing is to come alongside her. Pray for her, come to her house and keep her company, wash her dishes, fold her clothes, bring her food, clothes, treats for her kids, and offer to babysit.
Unfortunately, this is little done nowadays and moms are left to figure it out. And how exactly do you do that?
Encouraging Words for a Struggling Mom
Figuring out your own mom life is super hard. I relate, I had virtually zero help during the first 5 years of motherhood. I will say, there are many tiny lessons that have built up to me being a confident mom. So I want to share 25 important words that all struggling moms need to hear.
#1 You need friends.
You can’t live this life alone and you need someone to share your woes and wonders with.
#2 Your family may not say it but they know you are amazing.
They see your hard work and wonder how you know things like where the scissors are when they know they looked.
#3 You aren’t alone!
It may seem like every other mom has her life together and every other kid is well-behaved, but you aren’t seeing the whole story. Every single mother has or is struggling with motherhood.
#4 God is with you.
No one wants to talk about God anymore but listen, we didn’t come out of thin air. He is caringly thinking about you. He created you to be a mom and to handle the challenges that come with that. Strengthen yourself in the fact that God is all-powerful and He is walking with you through this.
#5 Perfectionism will ruin you.
There, I said it. Perfectionism is a major factor in your mom struggle. Face it, you won’t ever be the Pinterest-perfect mother. You can’t be the mother you imagined because she is just that – an imagination. When it comes to real life, pull up your bootstraps and serve that hurriedly made PB and J. Call it good because you are keeping humans alive and that’s an amazing job!
#6 You need to breathe!
Taking one or two times a day to practice deep breathing will do a lot for your mental clarity and calm.
#7 You don’t have to die on every hill.
Not every point of conflict or behavioral incident has to be thoroughly dealt with in the moment. Some issues need to be let go for your sanity’s sake.
#8 Learn to laugh.
Along with the last point, make it a point to find ways to laugh at and with your kids.
#9 Hiding is the wrong strategy.
You may feel invisible but you gotta show up. Make choices every day that puts you back in the driver’s seat. Mom life is not just laundry and dishes and sweet little kisses. Look for any areas where you can put your unique mom touch: decor, cuisine, fashion, hobbies, discipline, friends. Whatever it is, be sure to show up as the one and only you.
#10 Children try to please.
Any child psychologist will tell you, it is the natural desire for kids to try to please you. It may not look like it but give your kids the benefit of the doubt when they don’t do things that are pleasing.
#11 Your house is going to be messy.
It took me a long time to understand that with kids your house will be messy. Read Proverbs 14:4.
#12 You aren’t the bad guy.
This isn’t a game of cops and robbers. You’re doing what moms do and sometimes (many times) it’s not popular, but that doesn’t make you the bad guy or the party-pooper.
#13 Self-care isn’t just an Internet idea.
Enough said.
#14 Go outside.
If the weather is decent, go outside or at least, send your kids out. I have survived many days because we were outside and there are less arguing and accidents when we just play outside.
#15 Routines are your friend.
Some people struggle with creating routines because they don’t want a piece of paper or order of things to run their life. But they find they have no life without one.
#16 You are beautiful.
I know you might be lacking the shoes and the hair, or maybe just the inner feeling of beauty, but you are 100% beautiful every day.
#17 Get dressed.
Along with being beautiful, you need to put effort towards that. Don’t walk around every day wearing your PJs.
#18 Trust your instincts.
Remember me saying how God made you a mom? Well, you have specific thoughts and feelings that’s made you the perfect candidate for your children.
#19 Learn patience.
Some of our frustrations come from our own impatience with our kids or our situation. Keep going but be patient for the changes.
#20 Enjoy your kids.
The days seem (are) long but they won’t be forever. Enjoy every minute you can. Take photos, push the swing, sing the song, cuddle.
#21 Don’t listen to everyone.
Yep, you don’t have to do what all the gurus say, you are your own woman.
#22 You won’t ruin your kid.
It’s natural to feel like every mistake will ruin them. Nope, they can learn from your mistakes. Plus the overwhelming love you share crowds so much of that out.
#23 Apologizing isn’t bad.
I mean it, apologizing doesn’t lower their opinion. Done right, it will show them how to admit their mistakes too.
#24 Being mom is hard.
We can and should say it out loud. There’s no sugar-coating it, and it’s completely alright. Don’t feel bad for thinking this job is super hard, it is.
#25 It’s okay to think about you.
It’s not selfish to want time away, to not have to share food, or any other you-centered thing. We know you are not a robot.
How to Help a Stressed-Out Mom
I know 99.9% of the readers of this post are struggling moms themselves, but I’m going to give you the biggest and best piece of advice to help yourself overcome that condition.
Reach out to help another stressed-out mom.
I’m sure you know at least a couple of other moms and even if you don’t I recommend you seek them out. Then, help them out. At least once or twice a month, seek ways to encourage someone else. Invite them out, do their dishes, pray with them.
By doing so you are highly likely to strengthen the both of you at the same time.