Mommy Guilt
It’s almost a suffocating feeling like you just want out of your skin. The inability to be what everyone is saying you need to be. It is overwhelming. This comes from family, friends, social media, random other moms and even your own thoughts of what you “should” be able to do. The pressure that we need to do motherhood THIS WAY, or stop doing it THAT WAY. This is the definition of mommy guilt.
You wonder if it’s okay to just be me. Can’t I just to do things my way? Yet this egging feeling is behind each thought. No, you can’t do things your way, whatever that is.
You hear whispers of you are beautiful, able, smart, and a good, loving, mom but you don’t feel any of it. Instead, you feel like a smudge on the side of the sidewalk. Only because you want to relax, take a few days off, go be with your friends or simply focus more on one task instead of another. Maybe you have a job that you actually enjoy, or you want to be a sahm when your family doesn’t make $100k/year, or perhaps you like spending lots of time WITH your kids and others say that’s unhealthy.
Whatever it is, you feel the freedom in your decisions dragged away from you. When you become a mom that doesn’t give others the right to tell you exactly how to go about it. Think about it, it’s not just motherhood they are giving input on, it’s you – your life, your future.
If you have felt this you know exactly what I’m talking about.
This page contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclosures page for more information.
We feel the pressure and let our thoughts be challenged. This is why many moms feel they are “bad” moms, you think
you aren’t doing ENOUGH
giving ENOUGH
being ENOUGH.
Those are mindsets that you have to work your way out of because you cannot be a successful mom when you cannot even breathe. You need to take time out for yourself, to think about which choices you’d like. Choices about how to spend your day. It’s okay to think about yourself and how you’d like to do things. If you don’t and allow those looming thoughts to decide for you… well, all you are going to end up doing is following the crowd.
HEY! The crowd isn’t determining your meaning and purpose! God is.
RELATED: What is the Purpose of Motherhood?
The whole point of this blog is to help YOU to function well, find purpose, and have a successful motherhood journey. YOU have to step away from those defeating thoughts and see the reality that you are a person and that you are not perfect! And that’s okay. Don’t allow what others to say to lead your life. God is leading your life.
He is the one that chose YOU to be the mom. You are fully equipped to be Mom without anything additional from those around you. If it’s great advice take it! If it makes you feel insufficient, see if it measures up to what God’s Word says about you and your motherhood. Keep in mind, when we feel mommy guilt most of the time it’s about things that do not determine our influence upon our children.
16 Things it’s OK to do in Motherhood
Ready? Take my hand and we’ll walk through these because you’ve been told a lie. You don’t have to be this way or that. You only have to be who God created you to be.
It’s okay when you
- Skip naptime and take your baby with you to visit friends instead
- Keep to your naptime schedule and skip out on friends
- Cloth diaper
- Don’t cloth diaper
- Don’t give your kids a bath EVERY single time you set out to do it
- Give your kids baths every day like clockwork
- Watch a movie in the middle of the day just for enjoyment
- Stop watching tv (Netflix, etc.) completely
- Have some dishes still in the sink
- Place priority on keeping your house spic n span
- Opt to go to work full-time, not for money but because its what you desire to do
- Opt to stay home, even without middle to upper-class income
- Don’t homeschool
- Choose to unschool
- Sleep in every Saturday
- Consistently attend your kids in Saturday morning activities
- Keep your kids’ clothes decked out (if you can afford to)
- Buy yourself new clothes sometimes instead of clothes for your kids – Gasp!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying be a lazy mom. I’m not saying neglect your husband or your kids. Definitely, don’t ignore your husband’s priorities for your home. I’m also not saying that it’s okay to throw your hands up and forget about routines or a better mom life.
There needs to be a balance in your decisions and in your life. Your decisions do need to include the health and welfare of your kids.
What I am saying
You don’t have to be perfect or feel like you are in a prison of motherhood duties, as if you will ruin your kids if you don’t have a filling nourishing dinner ready for them, even when you are dead tired. How overwhelming that type of pressure is to live under! Those are feelings of mommy guilt and you have to learn to let it go.
Give yourself some grace, you won’t ruin your kids by how you schedule your day or what brand of shoes they wear. It’s your relationship with your kids that counts.
Don’t beat yourself up if you cannot be everything to everyone. That’s who Jesus is, and you are not required to be that. You are only asked to seek Him and humbly follow.
If you do struggle with thoughts of mommy guilt, I mean not just a bit but its daily struggle, you may want to read the Purpose of Motherhood.
You might also want to check out the book Lies Moms Believe. It’s available as a physical book, an ebook you can immediately download and has a companion study.
Mommy guilt is so hard! It’s okay to just be yourself and do your thing. 🙂 You do you!
Thanks for joining #WanderingWednesday! 🙂