I sat down to write this blog entry, and more, if I could. I set a timer to make sure I wasn’t wasting time, y’know since successful moms do that sort of thing.

Kids are at grandma’s, so I thought I could write for an hour and a half! I used to write much longer than that…

I commented to my husband, “I’m not even sure I can focus that long on writing.” He had also pulled out his laptop to compose. We both had been writing short stories, journaling online and creating characters for years before meeting.

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“Really?”, he replied in surprise.
“Think about my day”, I came back. “I can’t focus on anything for longer than 15 minutes. Not anything.”

When I became mom lots of things went out the window.

 

[bctt tweet=”Sometimes something is better than nothing. #justdoit #makeamove #purposeful” username=”mRosebarnett”]

Things that you seemed to have ample time to do and never thought any differently about it, now are only focused on for moments, if at all. Even things I loved, that made me who I am – like writing – lost.   Sometimes I didn’t even feel like the person I once was.

As your family grows more duties pile on and the few free spaces usually become wasted by our grasping onto a world long gone.

I realize I waste time a lot.

As much as I stick to my Any.do to-do list, my beautiful and fun to write in planner and my Evernote phone reminders, I still waste time.

I believe moms, especially moms of young ones, end up wasting their precious downtime for a few reasons.

Here are Your Time Sucks

You just want to relax!

My goodness, if you aren’t moving at lightning speed, your brain does.

Listening all day to the nonsensical conversations, dealing with diapers, cooking, meal planning, cooking, play-with-me demands, screaming, complaining, cooking and more diapers. Did I mention cooking?  The food those little bodies can consume.  You just don’t want to think anymore.

So you hop on Facebook or Netflix and zone-out.

Unsure what to do.

Your mind is so full of just those basics and keeping them under control (laundry*) that when you have some free time coming you don’t know what to do with it.

You haven’t even had time to consider what to do when you stop doing the constantly renewed piled of basics. Then you waste your time collecting your thoughts on what you want to do in life or to take care of yourself. This is what happens to a lot of ladies when it comes to self-identity in motherhood.

Your purpose and your self-motivation become one big pile of laundry (or dishes, or bills).

 

Unsure of which to do.

Have you ever had some time and a list and just didn’t do any of it because you took too much time figuring out which one to do first?

There were times in the past when my dear parents took my two boys who were both under 5 at the time, away for the whole day.

Some of these were productive times, but others were spent wasted while I figured out what needed to be done (see above) but then which to do first. Trying to be perfect isn’t the goal.

It was my goal for those days. I was too distracted by getting the right things done, instead of just jumping in with anything. Sometimes something is better than nothing.

Basically, amongst all the things a parent has to attend to, all of our energies can easily vanish before we have any flex-time to do something other than the urgent needs of our kids.

But I know you are wishing for just a piece of yourself again.

I mean, if you had an extra hour without interruption, what would you use it for?

Would you use it to read, plan or get to know your Lord better?

Would you finally start that blog or business idea?  If so you definitely want to check out the courses from A Beautiful Mess.

Would you write a letter, visit your aunt or make a special treat for your family?

But is it possible to carve out an hour each day?

Honestly….maybe.

I’ve been a mom for 10 years and I know when I have my priorities in order I can have extra time every day, where I’m not a slug and can actually do something with laser focus! And this is even when I had only littles.

So what is a time audit?  It’s just a way to track how you’ve been spending your time.

Take a few days to write down what you are doing with each hour (or even half hour) of your day.  Don’t worry, you only do it 2-3 days as you feel fits, then you look over what you’ve been doing.  You take into account each hour and decide if you’ve been using your time well.  Are you doing what you want to do?  Don’t forget all the little bits add up!

Interested in learning more? Organizing Moms breaks it down and gives you a free tracker to get started.

You’ve probably found you aren’t accomplishing what you want.  So think about how you’d rather spend your time!  A FABULOUS book to help you start ordering your life is Essentialism 

Greg McKeown lays out for us how we all, even moms at home, just feel BUSY… busy is the buzzword of the day and yet we aren’t getting much done.

 Our goals are out of place or we haven’t even created any.

He helps us regain control by, not fitting in more, but by actually doing less and doing it well.

LOVE this book y’all, you just have to read it. I felt so much clarity in my life, I mean more than even when I read my #1 all-time favorite beloved book. But honestly, I wouldn’t have been able to absorb Essentialism if I hadn’t settled my heart, emotions, and purpose with Trusting God.

This has been probably the biggest help to me so I’m not wasting time trying to figure out what to do. I keep a running to-do list in my daily planner. I just jot down whatever I need to do from adding to my wishlist of purchases to what I want to blog about. It could be that I need to work on my recipe binder or write a letter to someone.

While we’re talking about planning, girls I know it’s hard but you just gotta meal plan.  Think about how much money you’ll save when you go into the store with a plan.  When my family was making less than $30k with 3 allergies and 3 sensitivities to avoid, and all organic food, meal planning was my superpower.    Don’t neglect how much sanity it’ll give to your life.

It doesn’t have to be a list of meal planning, doing the dishes, or sewing on buttons. It can be very personal or just fun, like remember to check all my groups on Goodreads or learn a new card trick. Whenever it comes to mind I try to jot it down. Then when I know I’ll have some free time coming I can look at it and choose a few to engage in.

But don’t forget to make your to-do lists in the evening for the next day.  This will give you a great start to a new day.

So when do you start that new day?  I know this isn’t the nicest, most loved of the steps but it’s necessary.  I have found as a mom, as a Christian and now as a wahm that life just rides smoother when I wake up earlier.

And of course, you can’t wake up earlier if you aren’t going to sleep.  So what do I mean “earlier”?

Well, if you have a baby waking you up at 2, 4 and 6 am.  I would highly recommend at 4 am getting up and doing a few things like read your Bible, pray, maybe even get your shower in.  Look over your to-dos – then go back to bed.  When your sweet baby wakes you up at 6 am you are already for the day.  Face it, you’re going to be tired anyway, might as well be ready.

If your kids are older like 3 or 5 they are most likely not waking you at 4 am.

If this is the case, I would say plan to wake up at 5:30 am and stay up.  Yes, 5:30 am.  You should have time to do all of your morning stuff before they open their sweet little eyes.

Waking up can be a challenge but don’t let it.  Think of getting a jump on the kids, having some real quiet to start instead of demands, and accomplishing your goals!

I am not trying to get techie on you.  MITs are just Most Important Tasks.

So after you’ve made your to-dos (and I hope you didn’t make it longer than 8 tasks because we moms just aren’t gonna get everything in unless they take less than 5 minutes each.) now you can order them by most important.

A good rule is to pick your top 3 things you want to get done.  Put those in order by the most tippy top important, second and third.  Then get started! 

I love how Bloom thinks ahead and even created a to-do PAD with space right at the top for your top 3 of the day.  Plus you can keep track of how much water you drink, the meals for that day.  Just everything a busy mama needs to stay in control and stop wasting time.

Want to know how to live an organized life? Learn to identify and eliminate bad habits.  This could be staying up too late or skipping out on forming a to-do list.  You know which things hang you up.

Then start creating good habits.  I’ve already given you a few: waking up earlier, doing your MITs and exercising daily.  Want more good habits?  I wrote a post called How to Create Good Habits

As a productivity advocate, I have to say it works. If you write it down somewhere eventually it happens. If you have evenings free, choose a few to just do nothing. Or if you have a regular mother’s helper or babysitter, choose a week out of the month and when the sitter comes that week do whatever!

If you don’t you will either burn-out or you will start sneaking in times of relaxation right in the middle of the task times you had set out to keep.  These times will become more until you are no longer reaching your goals.

If you have difficulties staying focused or tend to procrastinate, you may benefit from creating an external commitment for (deadline) yourself.

For instance, schedule a meeting in two days’ time where you’ll be presenting your work and by which time your actions will have to be completed. It’s also very effective to complete the most unpleasant tasks early in the day and to allow yourself small rewards once you’ve completed them.

This tip comes from the popular book, Eat That Frog

Conclusion

Think of it as an investment. As your children grow, your time is freed up more and more. If you manage well the small amount of time you have now you will be more fulfilled and ready for the challenges of each day in the future.

Later you will be better equipped to handle larger amounts of time and the transition that comes with it. You won’t be looking back over time ill-spent, still playing catch up because you didn’t do it earlier. Overall, YOU WILL BE more productive for you and your family and a better servant of the Lord.

We will be eternally rewarded for investing our time in good works.

 

1 Corinthians 3:14

Do you ever feel lost when it comes to self-identity – who you are, what you should be doing and how to get your time back? Comment below.

If you need more tips on how to manage your time see 10 Simple Time Tips for Moms who are Learning How to Manage 

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