Stop Wasting Your Time As a Stay at Home Mom
I sat down to write this blog entry, and more, if I could. I set a timer to make sure I wasn’t wasting time, y’know since successful moms do that sort of thing.
Kids are at grandma’s, so I thought I could write for an hour and a half! I used to write much longer than that…
I commented to my husband, “I’m not even sure I can focus that long on writing.” He had also pulled out his laptop to compose. We both had been writing short stories, journaling online and creating characters for years before meeting.
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“Really?”, he replied in surprise.
“Think about my day”, I came back. “I can’t focus on anything for longer than 15 minutes. Not anything.”
When I became mom lots of things went out the window.
Things that you seemed to have ample time to do and never thought any differently about it, now are only focused on for moments, if at all. Even things I loved, that made me who I am – like writing – lost. Sometimes I didn’t even feel like the person I once was.
As your family grows more duties pile on and the few free spaces usually become wasted by our grasping onto a world long gone.
I realize I waste time a lot.
As much as I stick to my Any.do to-do list, my beautiful and fun to write in planner and my Evernote phone reminders, I still waste time.
I believe moms, especially moms of young ones, end up wasting their precious downtime for a few reasons.
Here are Your Time Sucks
You just want to relax!
My goodness, if you aren’t moving at lightning speed, your brain does.
Listening all day to the nonsensical conversations, dealing with diapers, cooking, meal planning, cooking, play-with-me demands, screaming, complaining, cooking and more diapers. Did I mention cooking? The food those little bodies can consume. You just don’t want to think anymore.
So you hop on Facebook or Netflix and zone-out.
Unsure what to do.
Your mind is so full of just those basics and keeping them under control (laundry*) that when you have some free time coming you don’t know what to do with it.
You haven’t even had time to consider what to do when you stop doing the constantly renewed piled of basics. Then you waste your time collecting your thoughts on what you want to do in life or to take care of yourself. This is what happens to a lot of ladies when it comes to self-identity in motherhood.
Your purpose and your self-motivation become one big pile of laundry (or dishes, or bills).
Unsure of which to do.
Have you ever had some time and a list and just didn’t do any of it because you took too much time figuring out which one to do first?
There were times in the past when my dear parents took my two boys who were both under 5 at the time, away for the whole day.
Some of these were productive times, but others were spent wasted while I figured out what needed to be done (see above) but then which to do first. Trying to be perfect isn’t the goal.
It was my goal for those days. I was too distracted by getting the right things done, instead of just jumping in with anything. Sometimes something is better than nothing.
Basically, amongst all the things a parent has to attend to, all of our energies can easily vanish before we have any flex-time to do something other than the urgent needs of our kids.
But I know you are wishing for just a piece of yourself again.
I mean, if you had an extra hour without interruption, what would you use it for?
Would you use it to read, plan or get to know your Lord better?
Would you finally start that blog or business idea? If so you definitely want to check out the courses from A Beautiful Mess.
Would you write a letter, visit your aunt or make a special treat for your family?
But is it possible to carve out an hour each day?
Honestly….maybe.
I’ve been a mom for 10 years and I know when I have my priorities in order I can have extra time every day, where I’m not a slug and can actually do something with laser focus! And this is even when I had only littles.
Here are 10 Steps to Stop Wasting Your Time as a Stay At Home Mom
#1 Do a Time Audit
#2 Set Goals
#3 Plan Ahead
#4 Wake Up Earlier
#5 Spend your mornings on MITs
#6 Devote your time to single-tasking
If you want to have laser sharp focus this is the one to pay attention to. Get some focus music, close out all other browser windows. Put your phone away, out of sight and on silent. Find a quiet place to work, or put the focus on your children.
Concentrate on this one task. Nothing else seems to exist. Just you and your home and kids.
#7 Exercise and Eat Right
Don’t be so focused on your tasks that you don’t stop to eat or exercise. Numerous studies have linked a healthy lifestyle with work productivity. Similar to getting enough sleep 7-8hrs, exercising and eating healthily boost energy levels, clear your mind, and allow you to focus more easily.
I know exercise can be hard to get into the habit of, however, I was able to start at 7 minutes a day. That’s it! And if it wasn’t for Jessica SmithTV I don’t know if I would’ve been able to stay consistent as I got stronger.
#8 Eliminate Bad Habits by Creating Good Habits
#9 Intentionally choose a few times to JUST relax
#10 Stop Procrastination
Conclusion
Think of it as an investment. As your children grow, your time is freed up more and more. If you manage well the small amount of time you have now you will be more fulfilled and ready for the challenges of each day in the future.
Later you will be better equipped to handle larger amounts of time and the transition that comes with it. You won’t be looking back over time ill-spent, still playing catch up because you didn’t do it earlier. Overall, YOU WILL BE more productive for you and your family and a better servant of the Lord.
We will be eternally rewarded for investing our time in good works.
1 Corinthians 3:14
Do you ever feel lost when it comes to self-identity – who you are, what you should be doing and how to get your time back? Comment below.
I love your recommendations – especially around focusing on ‘MITs’ in the morning and doing a time audit. I think a big part of managing time is being mindful when you’re wasting it – so the time audit is perfect – even if I feel a bit guilty after, I know it will help me be more productive the following day!
Great advice! I’m a WAHM and when I finally find the time to sit down and work, I’m soooo distracted. I drive myself crazy with this. I’m going to put some of your tips to good use!
I need to do a time audit! I know I waste a ton of time, but I couldn’t tell you where it goes. With eight kids, there’s a ton of laundry, cooking and cleaning, and I homeschool and have a blog, so it’s not like I’m watching soap operas and eating bon-bons. Oh, and we have a busy farm, ha, ha! But still… I know I waste a lot of time. Thank you for the great suggestions!
I like the idea of focusing on your Most Important Tasks. I think it’s best to do them first thing in the morning before the day gets away from me!
Funny I came across this post today, because I actually woke up 30 minutes earlier this morning and I feel that it really helped me get a vision for my day, as well as get a few things done before everyone was up. I love your tip about performing a time audit, I am going to try that on my next couple of days off! I know there are some days that I feel like I did stuff all day, but did not get any whole thing accomplished!
I definitely feel overwhelmed sometimes but when I really take the time to plan ahead, everything seems to fall into place. Thanks for sharing this!
I love the idea of using a timer! I never thought about really tracking my time.
This is so good (but also pretty convicting). My husband is traveling a lot right now for his job and I am 31 weeks pregnant with a toddler. I have such a hard time getting things done because either 1) I just want a break or 2) Thinking of everything I have to do is overwhelming so I end up not doing any of them. Thank you for some practical and easy to apply tips – I will be implementing several 🙂
I struggle with this so much! I have a million to-do lists around my house that are all partially done and I always feel like I’m not doing something (because there is always something left to do). Being a WAHM can make it very difficult to balance, even if you’re trying to fit in part time work. I really appreciate these tips, I’m going to try them out!
As a mom of four young kids, I see myself in a lot of what you write! I have recently been working on taking care of myself more and single tasking. Taking some time to intentionally relax is next on the list!
I have a problem with failing to know that to do when I have downtime. So I spend my time on blog work…but I need to get better and doing something completely unplugged.
This is me every weekend. About a year ago I committed to not working in my freelance business on weekends and now on Saturdays and Sundays, I never know what to do! When I finally decide on something, the day is already gone. Still struggling to make the most of that time meaningfully.
RoseB, thank you for your blog post.Really thank you! Awesome.